A friend rang me late this afternoon and got a little more than she bargained for. She asked 'how are you?' in that casual way you ask someone at the start of a conversation. To which I replied, 'I'm having a meltdown.'
This afternoon's meltdown has come after an insanely busy week. I'm busy getting organised for the workshop on the weekend, getting my head around my trip to France at the end of the month, doing some work for a commercial client which is exciting and nerve wreaking at the same time, filling orders, emailing, and the list goes on. And on. And on.
When my friend called I'd been internally chastising myself yet again for turning the television on for the children in the middle of the afternoon just so I could answer a few emails. The only time Miles and Ryan sit still is when the TV is on. They're not ones to quietly read books. Oh I wish! When they're playing, they're racing their bikes around the house or flinging their cars up and down the hallway. Their idea of quiet play is whispering while they topple their block towers. They really can't be left to their own devices unless I want to find them covered in flour (it's happened. More than once).
So when she asked, I told her the truth. I was having myself a good old fashioned meltdown. Complete with chocolate. I was frustrated that I couldn't complete the work I needed to get done without being a neglectful mother. It's a common theme in my life, and most working mothers'. I was having a meltdown and I damn well deserved it.
My friend said all the right things and I hung up the phone feeling much much better. But it did make me realise that I've got to make some changes to avoid more spazz outs in the future. I'm not sure what yet, but something to alleviate the stress and frustration.
After all, it's not cool when your 4 year old just wants to play snap and you tell him 'can't you see mummy's busy having a meltdown?'
(New sample frames for clients. They're lovely and white and square. They also come in black. Which are also lovely and square. Table came from the CFA jumble sale last weekend. Total score!)
* Meaghan
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