My birthday
My fingers are currently gliding over my brand spanking new keyboard as I write this. Talk about a hit birthday present. Amba has quickly realised that a technology related present for any occasion will always set my world on fire. And a shiny, sleek keyboard is no exception. When I opened it this morning I think the neighbour's heard my shriek of delight.
I woke up to two little boys jumping on my bed, waving their home made cards around and asking if they could help me open my presents. A perfect way to kick off a birthday. In the past I've put way too much emphasis on my birthday (it's all about me, right?), and made a pact with myself just to let this birthday wash over me. 
[Photos circa 2003]
It's my birthday and I'm naturally going to do the expected naval gazing. It's birthdays, not New Year's Eve, that I end up spending way too much time thinking about the year's that been, what have I done with my life, and where in the heck am I headed. Usually I make promises to myself that the following year of my life will be better, that I'll try harder, that I'll eat less chocolate.
And I wish I could say that this year was different, and I'm instead eating pizza in front of the tellie, but no, I'm getting all introspective.
I find myself thinking about what I was like when these photos were taken. Pre kids, pre photography, pre 'serious' life. I remember being fun. I laughed a lot, and loudly. And often inappropriately. I read books, went to gigs, drank too much beer, lingered over meals, got teary in movies, wore outrageous clothes, loved with overwhelming passion. I liked that me, very much.
Looking at these I realise just how much I've changed. (Okay, so the one below I just look like I've been, well, you know). I'm not that girl anymore, and that's really regrettable. It's not just my circumstances that have changed, but that I've let those circumstances change who I am. I'm not fun any more. I'm all work and no play. For some reason I equated having children and running a business with having to assume some sort of boring persona. I've managed to get myself so caught up in what I thought I should be doing, and have totally forgotten what it is that I actually love doing.
So the plan for my 29th year of life is to get more of that me back. To stop letting schedules, and balanced meals, and keeping appearances overtake me. To do more of the things that I love, to invest time in the people that I love doing them with. To wear stupid hats at the pub for my friend's entertainment. 
Look out, here comes the old Meaghan. (I'm totally starting with a new hair cut. My hair used to be so cute, and now it's so mumsy!)
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7 comments:
Meaghan, my dear. I can say with all honesty that the person you are now, right this minute in your life is amazing. You are fun and funny, I have never laughed so much with anyone else, shared peanut butter m&m's in an old room in Melbourne, laughed at Bat wings dude, tottled around Melbourne with your two, fabulousy delightful boys. I love you just as you are now. Dont try to be someone you once were because you have grown and aged and experienced life, all of which have moulded you into the Meaghan I know. Hope you had the best birthday today! P.S that photo of you looking up is Miles all over! Wow!
Love this post Meaghan - happy birthday - looking forward to seeing the cute haircut!
Chop that hair! It suits you so much short...and you know girls with short hair have more fun...(ha).
(does the new Meaghan involve a trip to the desert? It's a photographer's happy place!)
There's a saying, "You can't cross the same river twice".
By all means, remember the waters of previous times - savour the temperature and clarity and gentle flow. But the waters that you wade into these days, which babble with the sounds of children and shutter clicks and Cadbury foil and serious, adult decisions are the ones you will reflect upon in another 7 years and enjoy just the same.
Happy birthday :) Reflect, as you gaze, on all you have achieved, the lives you have created and touched, and the immense opportunity before you to wade into future waters with greater certainty and your big smile. And a new haircut...
Ah Babe, if only I'd known in advance! I could have sent you something French and sophisticated as a lovely surprise!
Believe me, you are the youngest and most fun person I have encountered in a LONG TIME!
Hope you had a great day - I will drink cocktails to your health tonight!! xxxx
Oh Meaghan you're being way too hard on yourself! The Meaghan I know IS fun, funny and not at all boring. I spend a day with you and come back in awe, inspired and nursing sore cheeks from laughing so much. So if this is the boring Meaghan I can't wait to meet the fun Meaghan! "You can't turn back the clock, but you can wind it up again" Look out world!
Your fans have said it all above but I can reiterate, you're swell just now.
The photos are so much fun to see again though. In many ways I don't feel much older than I felt 10 years ago, but I look at the photos and we've certainly aged into a different decade! We're all the better for it right? Change for the better I reckon, like, we don't have to ask to have friends over anymore, and we never drink blue curacao (even though it's the house colours), we pick our friends and foes with more clarity, we moved away from 'the regional center', and we have choices and powers we never used to have (that sounds a bit captain planet!) -GO WIND).
And of course, need I mention, you also have two little faces that look just like you in your midst!
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