Dealing with self doubt

Sometimes when it's late at night, usually when the house is quite and I'm sitting at my computer working by the light of the screen that the self doubt demons creep in. They whisper to me 'you're a horrid photographer', 'you don't know what you're doing'. They love to taunt 'would you look at that photograph? You call that horizon straight?!'. They make me go and look at other photographer's websites, further driving home their point about me photography skills, and lack there of.

It's so hard not to listen, and all of a sudden I find myself in the swampy waters of self doubt. If I don't do something about it, I would surely drown.

I don't prescribe to all that crap about using self-doubt to drive you forwards and make you better. Erm, yeah, whatever. They've obviously never met my self-doubt. Mine is paralising, and has me convinced that I don't even know how to turn a camera on. I've read all about self-doubt being only natural, that everyone goes through it, that I'm not alone. Again, so not helpful. Knowing that everyone doubts themselves just makes me believe in the old primary school adage of 'majority rules'.

To deal with it I give myself a reality check. I tell myself the following two things -

1. When you started photography, your photos were awful.
2. You're better than you were then.



By not comparing myself to others, but comparing what I used to be like to what am now works. It eliminates all others from the equation, and makes my own work the bench mark. It makes me feel so much better to know that I've improved. If I really need pulling out of the self-doubt swamp I'll even go back to my first blog posts to look at the photos (and there are some stinkers!).

Telling myself these two simple things reminds me that I'm moving foward. No, I may not yet be the best photographer in the world, and that I'm actually not even close to that, but I'm better than I used to be. So that gives me hope that I will continue to grow, learn, develop and take better photographs. It reminds me that so far the only way has been up, so why should that change now?

Try it, next time the self-doubt devil comes to haunt you. And tell it hi from me.

* Meaghan

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Clare Bowditch [Self improvement 2011]

Ordinarily, I would have stayed in bed. A gig, at a dodgy venue, on a Sunday night, late. No thank, I'd rather have some quality time with my blankets and a good book.

But this time I said yes. And Clare Bowditch made me happy that I did.



Clare Bowditch and the new slang played at the Barwon Heads pub last night to a small yet appreciative crowd. Amba and I, plus some friends shook off our sleepiness and went along. Clare's music is all kinds of wonderful. She's also dang funny. We decided that she'd be the kind of person that would be rip roaringly funny after a few red wines around the dinner table. Clare also knows how to swear in all the right delicate places, a talent I hold particularly dear.



I'm tired today, but what's a bit of fatigue between friends? I got to go to the pub, drink beer (our of plastic cups if you please. When did they start serving beer out of plastic cups? I'm not sure I'm a fan of the change), watch Clare add Rhianna riffs to her songs, and hang out with some good people. I'm happy to suffer being tired.

* Meaghan

Clare was playing with Pikelet, which was a wonderful suprise. I'm a Pikelet fan (both musical and edible.)

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Bent family [Geelong, VIC]

I wasn't going to post another shoot this year, but I had this one up my little sleeve and really wanted to share it. How could I not? Afterall, I'm always the child who peeks at her Christmas presents under the tree.

I've gotten to know Lauren and Ashley over the last few years. As with all good friendships, they begin in unusual ways. Ashely sold me my camera. He handed me my new baby and our friendship was set in stone. Ashely said to me once 'you should meet my sister. She's into photography too.' So I met Lauren. We became firm friends faster than you can say 'what camera do you shoot with?'

And now I've I've collected the whole family set.











Ashley and Lauren have made it cool to love your mum. And when you've got a mum as abundantly wonderful as Margi, you'd love her to the hill tops too.













Meaghan, for goodness sake, hold your bleepin' camera straight!



Much better.

And you know what, sometimes a photo where everyone is standing together looking at the camera and smiling isn't overdone and boring. Sometimes, it's just plain perfect.



* Meaghan

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Wedding - Elfi and Tim [Barwon Heads, VIC]

Elfi was working in a bar. Tim frequented the pub with his mates. Years, several countries and their own business later, and Elfi and Tim found themselves standing on the beach at Point Impossible getting married. I'd say it's a fairytale ending, but there's no ending here. Just the start of something pretty damn wonderful.

Elfi is German, and family and friends travelled here for her wedding. The weather put on a stella performance, as if thanking the overseas guests for coming all this way.

































I really loved being on the beach with these two on a sunny Friday afternoon. Elfi and Tim are relaxed and warm, and we chatted and laughed as I took their photographs. Throw in some bouncy dogs for good measure, of course. Elfi and Tim run their own graphic design and wedding stationary business, and I admire them for starting their business from scratch and building it to be the success it is today.





There really is no better backdrop than the sky when it's putting on a show such as this.







Elfi and Tim are so sweet with each other.















On to 13th Beach for the wonderful reception. The German's have a tradition to share cake and coffee with their guests before the reception starts in earnest. So Elfi and Tim did exactly that, as a nod to Elfi's heritage.















Thank you both, for one immensely splendid afternoon.





* Meaghan





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